Campers

From the Play

CHARACTERS:
JOANNA, a woman in her mid twenties
DAVID, her old lover, new husband

SCENE
A spot in the forest

TIME
Early morning. The present

Play Excerpt:

DAVID: (Standing back up.) Yeah. I . . . um . . . Yeah. Well, I did find the thermos.

(Goes over to the pile.)

I can’t find my shoes. We need to inventory the equipment pile right off.

JOANNA; Don’t worry about it. We’re free spirits this weekend. All that stuff is the shackles of civilization, the very accouterments we’re casting away this weekend. Go ahead and cast ‘em away. The sooner the better.

DAVID: Oh. Yeah. Well, I can’t cast away my shoes. I can’t even find them.

JOANNA: It’s like drinking herb tea. Lord, it really is better for us.

DAVID: I can’t cast away my ski jacket. Not this a.m. It must be an uncivilized twenty degrees. No, I’m holding on to every shackle in sight.

JOANNA: Haven’t you felt better drinking it?

DAVID: I’d feel better if I had some coffee. Ah! (He finds one shoe; then, soon another.)

JOANNA: (Sinking back into sleeping bag.) Off on the trails. Lord, we’re gonna find . . . pine cones and berries, all the secrets of animal life, the squirrel, the beaver . . . peace . . . contentment. At least one of those things. Perhaps all of them in one glorious trail . . . Umm.

DAVID: Joanna . . . (Suddenly.) Damn it!

JOANNA: (Sticking her head out again.) What? David, what?

DAVID: Aw, shit.

JOANNA: David!

DAVID: Aw . . . Aw . . . Aw, shit.
JOANNA: (Sitting up, hugging the bag around her.) David, what, for Lord’s sake.

DAVID: There’s a . . . there’s a . . . Oh, God!

JOANNA: (Trying to scoot over in the bag.) Speak plainly.

DAVID: It must have been . . . a snail. In my tennis shoe.

JOANNA: Let me see. I’ll wipe it out. (Graabs some leaves.)

DAVID: Awww.

(He hops over to meet her.)

JOANNA: Here. I’ll wipe it all out. There. Well, there might be a little goo left. Um. Poor toes. Poor snail.

(Hands him the shoe and looks around again.)

David, seriously, where is the sun?

DAVID: Well, I don’t like to throw a damper on things . . . sorry . . . but the day has a sort of greyish look about it that I don’t much like. I don’t think you’re going to see your average, mid-June sun up and around at all here today.

JOANNA: You may be right. Oh, well, it’ll be cozy in our little tent.

DAVID: I should put up our little tent. Yes, it could rain. The weather made no vows over the weekend.

JOANNA: Um. Never mind . . . I do . . . I did . . . I promised to love, honor, and what else . . .?