ANGELs, Inc.

From the Play

ANDY: Homecloud Security will be everywhere! I will serve and protect.

GOD: Thank you, soldier. Gloria?

GLORIA: Yes, God.

GOD: Gloria, your name says it all. Of all the angel news correspondents at my command, I chose you for this assignment. I know you’re the senior anchor of the A-B-C news desk, that you’ve worked hard to get there, and that you’d rather not be “demoted,” so to speak, to an “on-the-scene” reporter. But I need your special energy to share the birth of my son with the entire universe. Are you okay with this?

GLORIA: Do I have a choice?

GOD: No.

GLORIA: Then I will do my best.

GOD: I expect no less. Harold. . . . Harold? . . . Harold!!!

HAL: Sorry, God. Just fixing Gloria’s wings and adjusting her halo.

GOD: Focus on me, please. Although you’re only an intern, your attention to detail for A.N.G.E.L. Broadcasting Company is the reason I chose you to be on the set for the birth of my son. Harold, you will be in charge of Gloria’s and Bea’s hair and makeup for the broadcast . . . and making sure that Mary and Joseph are comfortable. Harold, from the moment Mary and Joseph leave Nazareth to the birth of Jesus, I want YOU to meet every personal need. Andrew’s job is to make the birthing area secure, Bea’s job is to make the birthing area clean and assist in the birth itself, and you’re in charge of making sure the birthing area is comfortable and homey. No necessity should be spared for the earthly parents of my son. I’ve provided a generous budget. There is no need to scrimp. However, Mary and Joseph are simple people and would not feel comfortable with lavish extravagance. As always, my axiom is “Less is more.”

HAL: Gotcha, God! I’m to deck the halls.

GABRIEL: Mon Dieu! Show more respect, Harold.

GOD: He’s new, Gabriel. I can forgive this one faux pas. Harold, you must be professional at all times . . . and that includes the way you address your superiors.

HAL: Sorry, God. The brilliance of Gloria’s halo distracted me for a second.

GOD: There cannot be any distractions. And before I close this meeting I must emphasize that all of you must . . . and I repeat that you MUST . . . project great joy tonight in all you do. “Joy to the world” is the mantra for this mission.

HAL: Like “Ho, ho, ho?”

GOD: Do not confuse the secular with the spiritual, Harold. Be jubilant. I am. Tonight the world receives a very personal gift from me . . . proof my love for all humankind. So, do any of you have any questions?

GABRIEL: Oui. Ees zis a “V” or an “I” moment een human history? Are we visible or invisible during zis mission?

GOD: Good question, Gabriel. Though your wings and halos will remain INVISIBLE to the humans around you, this is definitely a “V” moment in history. Humans will see you. But, Angels, that brings to mind a word of caution. Any time you’re visible in the mortal world and appear as one of them, certain unpredictable human things can happen. You become susceptible to human frailties that even your angelic powers can’t reverse. The environment may affect you in unfamiliar ways. Cope with the human physical defects as best you can. In addition, every single one of you will have to be vigilant and represent the code of ethics that A.N.G.E.L. Broadcasting Company—A-B-C—embodies. With that said, I have already placed monitors in strategic places so I can see what’s happening at all times. I will also be keeping in touch with each and every one of you throughout the evening. Time to check your cell phones.