Monsters

From the Play

EXCERPT FROM ANTS

Overhead lights come up over two men. The first man, Bernard, is in bright light. He is wearing normal business attire. The second, a man seated in a chair, is seen more dimly and could even be a dummy. Bernard is sitting before a console with a number of switches and dials. A single wire runs from the console to the man in the chair where it splits into several smaller wires each of which is attached to patches attached to the body of the man in the chair who has a burlap bag over his head.

BERNARD
Mysterious affair, electricity.

(Bernard flicks a switch at the console. The man in the chair screams.)
It stimulates, does it not?

(Pause while Bernard picks up a clipboard and looks over the papers clipped to it)
Perhaps you could help us with our inquiries about your friends. After all, your friends have already told us so much about you. It would only be reciprocal for you to tell us about them.

(Pause)
May I say you are lucky to have such friends? They were all quite complimentary about you. They all said you are da bomb. Don’t worry. We will never make the tapes public.

(Bernard looks up from clipboard)
I’m sorry, I’m sure I didn’t make myself clear. I’m looking for a response.

(Bernard flicks a switch at the console. The man in the chair screams.)
Isn’t it funny about friends? Sometimes you really need to have someone around to talk to, but sometimes you think that it would just make everything worse if you told anyone about the thing that is most important to you. I mean, it’s only human to have secrets.

(Pause while Bernard looks through the papers on the clipboard)
Perhaps you often meet Delores down at the place we shall not mention. Perhaps you would be surprised to learn that Delores has been very cooperative with us. Perhaps you would be surprised to learn that Delores gets her decorating tips from us.

(Pause)
Don’t worry. No one need ever know.

(Pause)
Do you like that phrase? We often use it at the station. We often talk about you at the station. We like the way you wear your hair, but we think that you should call your mother more often. I know she would appreciate hearing from you. Don’t you think so?

(There is no response. Bernard throws the switch again. The man in the chair screams.)
Really, she’s a saint.

(Pause)
Don’t worry. We will burn the documents after we have read them.

(Bernard puts clipboard down)
Perhaps there is a favor you would like from us. Perhaps there is someone you would like to meet, someone powerful who could help you advance you in your career. I believe that you consider yourself artistic. We are very encouraging of artists of all ethnic backgrounds. Perhaps you could qualify for one of our very liberal grants. Don’t worry. We will destroy the questionnaires once the information is entered into our data bank.