Enter Quantity Below
Performance Fee $15.00 A Production License Fee Per Performance (mandatory for all performances)Apply for Performance Rights
David knows he has sinned, and the only way to cover it up is for Uriah to sleep with his wife, Bathsheba. David’s simple plan goes awry when it turns out that Uriah has a big ego.
From the Play
DAVID: (To attendant only) I cannot allow her to get stoned, which is sure to happen if Uriah gets wind that the baby she is carrying is…
ATTENDANT: Not kosher.
DAVID: Yeah, not his. Showtime ….
David and attendant enter throne room. David sits on throne. Attendant stands at his side.
ATTENDANT: All hail King David, who has slain tens of thousands of Philistines.
SOLDIERS: All hail!
NATHAN: As an instrument of God’s will.
ATTENDANT: I was getting to that — (Less enthusiastically) as an instrument of God’s will.
SOLDIERS: (Even less enthusiastically) Yeah, yeah, yeah — instrument of God’s will.
ATTENDANT: However, we’re not at war with the Philistines anymore…
DAVID: I think they all know that now. (To soldiers, primarily) Right? Everyone knows to lay off the Philistines….right? Let’s not cast the first stone.
SOLDIERS: (Unenthusiastically) Yes, King David.
ATTENDANT: We’re at war with the Ammonites so give a BIG welcome to today’s hero, Uriah, the …
MEPHIBOSHETH: (Interrupting) There’s no Israelite named Uriah!
ATTENDANT: If you’d let me finish … Uriah, the Hittite.
MEPHIBOSHETH: But aren’t we also fighting them? (Looks at Nathan, who shakes his head “no”)
ATTENDANT: Look, Mephibosheth, if you’d get out a little more, you’d know these things. All you do is sit at the king’s table. Uriah is on our side…
NATHAN: He’s on the side of God.
ATTENDANT: You never let that go, Nathan.