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Jake Revolver: Freelance Secret Agent

by Matthew Konkel
  • 90 Minutes
  • 7 Males/4 Females/Min 6, Max 11/ Doubling Possible


In this radio-noir, private detective parody, by Matthew Konkel, Jake Revolver fights against conspiracy, double cross and self-reference to uncover the killer of his own narrator. Meant to be performed as the premiere episode of a nineteen-forties live radio broadcast complete with foley artistry and on-stage standup microphones, Jake Revolver, Freelance Secret Agent is packed with puns, play on words, oodles of self-referential absurdity (and Beatles references?)


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  • Review Script 9.00 Watermarked PDF Download
  • Hardcopy 11.00 Printed Copy Mailed to You
  • Multi-Copy PDF 75.00 Printable Production Script PDF
  • Class/Group Study Pack 75.00 Production Script PDF

Performance Fee $60.00 A Production License Fee Per Performance (mandatory for all performances)

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Play Details


In the tradition of Firesign Theater, Jake Revolver, Freelance Secret Agent combines slapstick, screwball humor, commercial spoofs and a murder mystery for a stylish and ridiculous tour de force comedy.

Casting: JAKE REVOLVER, FREELANCE SECRET AGENT can be performed by a flexible cast of 6 -10 male and female actors.

Jake Revolver, Freelance Secret Agent received its world premiere production in Milwaukee, WI produced by Milwaukee Entertainment Group, June, 2015. This hilarious noir parody has delighted audiences in Wisconsin, Massachusetts, New Mexico and Washington, D.C.


RADIO ANNOUNCER, Transitional character used to shift between story acts and to support the radio drama concept. Could be done as a recorded voice over.

JAKE REVOLVER, A freelance secret agent— basically a private detective in the tradition of Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe. Projects a persona of resourceful intelligence, sharp wit and a tough exterior, however, he often has spells of emotional frailty and dense intellect.

EMMY AWARD, Dedicated secretary to Jake Revolver. Resilient and perceptive, Emmy is a smart woman who’s in love with Jake Revolver and harbors a big secret.

ANGEL FATALE, Her name tells her story. The traditional femme fatale of the noir genre. Angel exudes a false frightened and helpless exterior to manipulate Jake Revolver and serve her own personal nefarious agenda.

NARRATOR, Jake Revolver’s chronicler used to speak Jake’s thoughts and supplement his actions. At times Narrator acts as a partner to Jake. He’s confident, omniscient and bold—often pushy and extremely verbose.

LT. ANN DANDERSON, Classic, overly suspicious and obsessive crime genre police officer. Danderson is an experienced and thorough cop with a fanatical agenda to take down Jake Revolver.

DASHIELL ROLL, Jake Revolver’s former partner. Once a dedicated partner, he’s now believed to be dead. He blames Jake for his near-death and returns to exact his revenge. He is smart, obsessive and totally insane.

RAYMOND RATTLE, Another of Jake Revolver’s former partners. In the past he was a supportive colleague and a good agent but in present day he’s become suspicious and irrational.

MR. CRAY, A client from Jake Revolver’s past. A mysterious presence, cool and calculating.

WINDY, Shady owner and operator of Breezy’s Nightclub.

TRUDY, Plastic, affected radio commercial spokesperson.

WALLACE, Hapless and innocent radio commercial representative.

TIME:   After World War II
PLACE:  San Noir City

From the Play

(The half-lit stage is set as if for a live radio show. Two microphones are preset downstage. Upstage are chairs for the actors next to a sound effects station. Actors hold prop scripts in their hands and all lines are played into the microphones as if it is a live radio broadcast. When not performing, the actors sit upstage and do quiet business, i.e. play cards, do their nails, read a book, do crosswords, etc.)

(Lights slowly rise through the duration of the RADIO ANNOUNCER’S following speech.)


RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.): …Freelance Secret Agent. Starring Gerald Crest as Jake Revolver and featuring the voice talents of Elaine Flagg, Colleen Forward, Penny Drops, Hamish Heggs, Jerome Wander, Louis Victor and Victor Louis. Jake Revolver, Freelance Secret Agent comes to you live from Air Waves America. The finest smelling radio network in the world. (big sniff) Ahhh. Add up the clues and play along at home as you solve the murder along with Jake. Jake Revolver Freelance Secret Agent is sponsored by Jitterz Whole Bean Coffee. Jitterz Whole Bean, the smart coffee makers with the bean to prove it. And now, the premiere presentation of Jake Revolver, Freelance Secret Agent.

(Lights to full. The actor playing the NARRATOR comes down to the microphone.)

NARRATOR: Previously on Jake Revolver…

(Stage goes BLACK.)


(Jake Revolver theme music begins. Lights up on NARRATOR at microphone.)

NARRATOR: Wherever there’s a right needing to be wronged, he’ll be there. Whenever there’s food needed to be eaten, he’ll have a fork. And whatever you can do, he can do better. Some say he’s not human. Others say he’s just a man. Only a small percentage say he’s a woman. But no matter what he is, his name and title remains the same. Into the light of the dark black night comes…Jake Revolver, Freelance Secret Agent!

(Theme music crescendo.)

NARRATOR: Tonight’s episode: Self Reference Gone Haywire or Who Killed Jake’s Narrator?

(Ominous organ chord.)

NARRATOR: Business had been slow at Jake’s Secret Agent office all month. San Noir City slept peacefully knowing— Wait a minute! What did I just read? But— No. This can’t— I don’t see—

(The actor playing JAKE REVOLVER comes down to the microphone.)

JAKE: Hey, what’s the hold up? When I hire a narrator I expect him to narrate not babble about like he’s reading the script for the first time.

NARRATOR: I know, Jake, it’s just— The title of the episode, Jake, I—

JAKE: Which one?

NARRATOR: Who Killed Jake’s Narrator?

JAKE: Yes?

NARRATOR: Jake, I’m the Narrator.


  • Review of Jake Revolver, Freelance Secret AgentRuss Bickerstaff, Shepherd Express,:“Beyond the superficial silliness there’s a deeply playful exploration of dichotomy and duality. The show tumbles through a narrative that plays with the fourth wall in a weird existential funhouse, dizzyingly drenched in a semi-automatic barrage of humor.”

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